self improvement

Enneagram 102 | Dive Deeper!

enneagram-basics

If you are new to the Enneagram, I highly recommend reading the 101 version of this blog post! Once you have a basic understanding of your number and potential wings, come back here to dive deeper.


Source: The Enneagram Institute

Source: The Enneagram Institute

The 3 Triads

If you notice, the Enneagram symbol has 3 different sections. These are called the Triads. Your Triad tells you what your center of intelligence, or body connection is. Basically, how you see, process and respond to the world. There are three types under each Triad and knowing yours, could help you better understand your tendencies and behaviors. It could also help you understand your loved ones and why they function similarly or different from you.

 Remember, one of the goals of the Enneagram is for us to have more compassion for others. We don’t use this information to excuse poor behavior or vindicate our choices. It’s simply a tool to help us learn more about ourselves and others. You might grow to understand….

  • Why your brother might always seem to pick a fight.

  • Why your bestie stuffs her own feelings, but validates everyone else’s.

  • Why your co-worker appears self absorbed all the time, but you know she’s got more to offer.

one of the goals of the Enneagram is for us to have more compassion for others...

The 3 Triads

Head (fear-based) 5s, 6s, 7s

These types are driven by fear. They tend to think and plan carefully before they act. 

Type 5 - externalize fear by searching for more knowledge: “I need to do more research first.”

Type 6 - internalize fear by considering worse-case scenarios: “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

Type 7 - forget fear by avoiding and chasing new adventures: “What’s next?!”

Heart (feeling based) 2s, 3s, 4s

These types relate to life from their heart. They are typically more aware of appearances and very image-conscious. 

Type 2 - focus outwardly on the feelings of others: “Let’s talk about you first.”

Type 3 - have trouble recognizing their own and others feelings: “Those aren’t tears, I have allergies.”

Type 4 - concentrate on their own feelings: “I am unique snowflake.”


Gut (anger-based) 8s, 9s, 1s

These types are honest, blunt and direct. They react instinctually or from their gut. 

Type 8 - externalize their anger physically and powerfully: “I’m so mad about this!”

Type 9 - forget or deny anger to avoid pain: “No really, it’s fine.”

Type 1 - internalize or repress their anger: “I’m in control.”


The Enneagram is so much more than just a simple personality test! When we dive deeper, we learn more about our tendencies, core fears and inner narrative. The things we tell ourselves has a strong hold on the lives we lead. If this felt uncomfortable to read, I get it! As a 7, I know that I am skilled at jumping from fun event to fun event to avoid pain and boredom. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the truth. Knowing is half the battle, right?

I’d love to know how you’re using the Enneagram in your everyday life. Have you shared the quiz with your spouse or family yet? If not, let me encourage you to take that step. I can’t wait to hear about what you learn!

Best,

Erin

Enneagram 101 | Learn the Basics!

Enneagram

The Enneagram has reached a level of boy-band popularity lately with no end in sight. Maybe you’ve heard of it on social media or online, but have been confused by what all the fuss is about?! Well, the Enneagram is definitely not new. In fact, it’s been around for centuries!

 The word Enneagram stems from the Greek words ennea (nine) and gram (drawing).

The Enneagram is so much more than a simplified personality test. It dives deep and explains why we do what we do, how we struggle and how we can grow as individuals. This is not a one size fits all system and gets more complex the more you research. I’ve been diving deeper lately and it continues to amaze me! Please know I’m NOT an expert and am only driven by my curiosity and desire to understand more about myself and the people I love! #type7problems

Also, me. LOL!

Also, me. LOL!


I love how the book, The Road Back to You, describes it:

The point of it is self-understanding and growing beyond the self-defeating dimensions of our personality, as well as improving relationships and growing in compassion for others.
— Ian Morgan Cron

Compassion - something we all need more of today, right?

So, what is the Enneagram?

Source: The Enneagram Institute

Source: The Enneagram Institute

The Enneagram is a simple, yet complex personality typing system. It uses a 9-point geometric symbol to reflect the nine types, or personalities.

From one point of view, the Enneagram can be seen as a set of nine distinct personality types, with each number on the Enneagram denoting one type. It is common to find a little of yourself in all nine of the types, although one of them should stand out as being closest to yourself. This is your basic personality type.
— The Enneagram Institute

I love how the Enneagram recognizes that people can’t be put in a box. We are multi-dimensional. But even though we can change and grow, we still have an inherent or dominant number.


How do I find out my type?


Gurus of the Enneagram believe that a test isn’t always the best way to type yourself. They tend to agree that reading about each type and seeing where you relate is the best approach. However, I believe getting a baseline from a quiz can be really helpful. You can take a free assessment here: Your Enneagram Coach

If after you take the test you feel like it’s not accurate, do more research about types and wings. Understanding your core fears and motivations takes deep soul work. If reading about your type makes you feel a bit ashamed or embarrassed, then you’re probably on the right track! We don’t always love to hear the hard stuff about ourselves, but that’s when growth is possible.

It’s important to remember there are no bad numbers. There are pros and cons to every type! We need to understand both to grow into our best possible selves.

What are the Types?

Keep in mind this is just a short highlight reel, each type is much more complex. Which one do you most connect with?

Type 1: The Reformer or Perfectionist - ethical, reliable, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.

Type 2: The Helper - generous, warm, people-pleasing, and possessive.

Type 3: The Achiever or Performer - success-oriented, adaptable, productive, and image-conscious.

Type 4: The Romantic - expressive, creative, sensitive, and moody.

Type 5: The Investigator - perceptive, analytical, secretive, and isolated.

Type 6: The Loyalist - engaging, committed, witty, and suspicious.

Type 7: The Enthusiast - spontaneous, versatile, fun and scattered.

Type 8: The Challenger - self-confident, decisive, intense, and confrontational.

Type 9: The Peacemaker - pleasant, laid back, complacent, and resigned.

What are the Stress and Security Numbers?

If you noticed on the Enneagram’s symbol, the arrows are connected and cross at certain points. These are the stress and security numbers.

When you are under stress, the arrow that is leading away from your number is your stress number. This means you’ll reflect some of the more negative aspects of that type. For example, as a seven, I stress towards a type one. I can become more perfectionistic and less easygoing when I’m feeling overwhelmed, trapped or stressed out.

The line that is moving towards your number is your security number. When you are feeling secure and healthy, you will reflect the more positive aspects of that number. Mine is a type five, so when I’m doing well I let go of excess and become more orderly. Ironically, I’m married to a type five, so he is always thrilled when this happens!

What are wings?

In your reading you might see types listed as 3w4 or 8w7. What does this mean? The w stands for wings. Some types, or numbers, lean heavily to another number directly beside their base number. This means there are two possible wings for each number. 

For example, there is a marked difference in a person who is a 1w9 versus a 1w2. Read about the differences and nuances for your type’s wings and see if anything rings true.

Craving more? Check out these resources:

The Enneagram Institute

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Iam Morgan Cron, author of The Road Back to You

http://ianmorgancron.com/assessment

Beth McCord, Your Enneagram Coach

https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/

I hope this was a helpful starting point for you to understand more about the Enneagram! Come find me on Instagram, @erinammons, I’ll be sharing more of my favorite Enneagram accounts to follow. Chat soon!

xo

Erin

P.S. Want something fun and completely non-scientific?! Take my quiz!

My Word of the Year + Social Media Break(thru)

word-of-the-year

Happy 2019, friends! I hope you had a restful and joy-filled holiday. I know the other parents out there are probably relieved the kids are back to school, but also sad because holiday break is officially over. I’m definitely in that bittersweet camp. I’m ready for our routine to return, but I so loved our pajamas-till-noon-Christmas-movie-marathon week of cookies and snuggles. My soul needed it!

There’s lots of chatter around the start of January about choosing a word for the year. One word that acts as an anchor for your intentions in the coming seasons. I have been doing this for several years now and find it really helps me prepare for the months ahead.

In the past few years, my words have been:

2016 - Brave

2017 - Intentional

2018 - Patient

I thought my word for 2019 was going to be clarity. But, as I mined through my powersheets, the word ‘keep’ came to the front of my mind. Keep is a small, seemingly inconsequential word. What could it possibly do for me? It didn’t feel weighty or important enough.

But that word just wouldn’t leave me alone. I considered all the different uses and meanings. There’s a lot for such a little word! And many of them apply to where my heart is right now.

as in:

…keep going

…keep pursuing

…keep the faith

…keep it up

…keep staying open

…keep showing up


Once I dove into
thesarus.com and began to unpack ALL the meanings and sub-meanings around this word, I was blown away.

Synonyms: carry, enjoy, manage, preserve, save, direct, grasp, retain

In many ways, all these synonyms feel like behaviors that would bring me more clarity. In this keeping, I’ll unlock certainty in different areas of my life. I’m ready to ‘keep’ 2019.

Keep.jpg

Since November, I’d been planning on taking a more extended social media sabbatical. When you run a business, Facebook and Instagram are (like it or not) necessary tools to grow and reach an audience. It had been on my heart though that it was time to put the phone down over Christmas break and be present with the people I love best.

Even though my decision felt resolute, I was worried that the temptation to check my notifications would still be there. Would the habit be too strong to shake? 

Welp, it’s been over 10 days and I’m so proud of myself for keeping the commitment. If you’ve ever toyed with the idea of taking a longer break, do it!

Here are a few takeaways from my social media sabbatical:

  • Feeling more even-keeled and less quick to anger over small frustrations.

  • I can leave my phone behind sometimes. I did forget it on a quick grocery store run, and embraced how free it felt.

  • Taking pictures for the joy of my family and not just to share online.

  • Less FOMO (fear-of-missing-out) and feeling truly content.

  • I slowed down and made room to just do nothing.

My best breakthrough? It was way easier and painless than I had anticipated. I’d envisioned it being so much harder, but truthfully…I was ready for the break.

The week between Christmas and New Year feels like a sort of time warp. It goes quickly but seems to stretch and linger. Can you relate?

I hope you got a chance to breath and reset for the new year. If you have a word for 2019, drop it in the comments below - I’d love to hear!

Best,

Erin

motherhood-community-facebook-group

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She Speaks Studio Top Takeaways! | Personal

If you ever get the opportunity to invest in a dream that’s so big you-can’t-say-it-aloud-because-OMG-it-is-terrifying….do it. Book the room, pack way too many shoes, board that plane, find a babysitter, leave before dawn…whatever it is you need to do. Make. It. Happen.

Hurricane Florence pushed back the date of the She Speaks Studio to November, and I had been anxiously awaiting it now for months.

She Speaks Studio was put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries, and if you have no idea what this organization is - I suggest you check it out if you’re looking for resources to grow in your faith.


This was the first Studio event and it was organized with instructional time, keynote speakers and hands-on workshop time. I signed up for the writing track and immediately made some amazing new friendships. I love how God cares enough about the details to make sure we were all sitting together at the same table!


Confession: I cried at least 395 times over the span of 1 1/2 days. Here are a few takeaways I never want to forget: 

  • Listening to best-selling author and speaker, Lysa TerKeurst, remind us that God does not want to be explained away, but invited in

  • When author, Suzie Eller said “when we hesitate in our calling, it becomes about us and not about God.”

  • The personal and heartbreaking stories of some of the strongest women I’ve ever met. Getting to hug them and process through some big emotions was an honor.

  • Having a mentor I respect, read my writing, look me in the eye and say “This is really, really good. Go write this.” #totallysobbed

she speaks studio

I am beyond grateful for this experience and I can’t wait to see how God is going to use it!

Curious what I’m doing? 

Join the Limitless Motherhood and come along for the ride!

Check out Instagram for more behind-the-scenes moments!

xo

Erin